Our hyperspace pigeon is home and he’s back to his old game of tormenting statues. He hates them because they always get in the way in mosh pits. Not only that, but statues never take a bath or shower, not even after pigeons have done what pigeons usually do to them.
The pigeon visited the strange world of Metal Sucks to thank their prime aliens, Vince and Axl, for graciously sharing their lists of metal musicians’ favourite albums of 2014. He questioned whether it was acceptable to use “graciously” and “metal” in the same sentence. We told him to ask Dave Mustaine. We don’t know how Mr. Mustaine replied, but our pigeon has some ruffled hyperfeathers. Now we have to lubricate his wings with molten iridium, the heaviest naturally occurring metal on the Periodic Table.