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Mammal’s 21-Year Hit Parade: 1997 / #2 and #1


MetalCatHey, music writers! When you’re doing a series on anything, do you find it difficult to write something different in every intro? I don’t. I find that if I don’t try to put my mind to it, I can write easily write something of absolutely no usefulness or relevance to the subject.

Tomorrow I must put tea and flick juice on the back of Dark Metal Cat’s neck. He was scratching this afternoon.

Er…that should be “flea and tick juice”. It doesn’t taste as good but it works better.

 

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Mammal’s 21-Year Hit Parade: 1997 / #4 and #3


MetalCatThere were two major differences between Children of Bodom and Metallica in 1997 apart from the fact that they sounded nothing like each other. The first was that everyone had heard of Metallica while just about nobody beyond the inner sanctum of metal had heard of Children of Bodom, at least not in my part of the world. The second difference was that most people thought all metal was heavy metal, and most had never heard of black metal. It wouldn’t have made much difference to them – all metal was evil, and we were all damned.

 

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Mammal’s 21-Year Hit Parade: 1997 / #8 and #7


MetalCatPlatinum used to be the heaviest known metal that humans could handle safely. Denser metals tend to be radioactive. Iridium, which arguably has the highest specific gravity of the elements that doesn’t decay in fractions of a second, is toxic in its pure form.

I’ve discovered a new metal that can be as heavy as you want it to be. It’s called Mammalum. It seems to be just the right specific gravity to match whatever kind of metal I’m enjoying. I thought you should know that.

 

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Mammal’s 21-Year Hit Parade: 1997 / #10 and #9


MetalCatAs I’m preparing this post, a troop of vervet monkeys from the forest is having a team shouting and bickering match. The males are getting the hots for the girl monkeys. It’s that time of year, the coldest time of year here in Zululand. The temperature at sunset is down to below 20C.

I shouted through the window,  “Hey! Guys! I’m trying to listen to music from Scandinavia, where monkeys know how to behave!” They ignored me. Maybe they’re Viking monkeys.

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