Themed Thursday: Metal Your Nonmetal Lady Might Like

I want to take this moment to dedicate this theme of the week to my wife who is turns 21 today…for the second time.  Happy Birthday babe! This is a repost of an article I wrote a while back about an experiment to find metal my wife would enjoy.  It’s not to turn her into a metalhead like me, but an experiment to find some common ground.  I like some of her nonmetal music so this was a way for me to find metal that wouldn’t make her feel like she was a lamb in a slaughterhouse.

If you are like me then you married someone who doesn’t listen to metal. It was never a prerequisite for me to marry someone who listened to metal like I do.  To make a long story short, I married a Sting, Billy Joel, Cheryl Crow, Michael Buble fan.  Although I respect these artists, they were not part of my music library.  Early on I knew my wife didn’t like metal and it didn’t matter. There is more to a relationship than musical interests and I could tell that my wife, like me, respected talented musicians. When I told her I liked metal she didn’t make a face or ask “are you satanic?” She might have thought it, but didn’t ask it. I knew she was (and is) open-minded and that was good enough for me.

I tried to introduce her to some metal I thought she might at least like…some artists I thought were more commercially accessible. I started with Dream Theater. Surprisingly that didn’t work out too well.  Although she accompanied me to a 3-hour Dream Theater concert in San Francisco, it was not her cup of tea. Her comment was “really talented dudes, but the songs were too long.” So prog was not her thing. I even tried some Megadeth songs…nope. I took her to see Judas Priest. She actually seemed interested in that show because growing up in the 80’s…who didn’t know Judas Priest?  Anthrax opened and that was a definite bust, but she knew some Judas Priest and thought they put on a good show. I think she enjoyed watching the 40+ year olds in he crowd with mullets and balding heads more than the band. But it was a nice sharing a bit of my musical culture with her. Of course it works both ways. She took me to Matchbox Twenty, a ballet in the front row, and a musical featuring all Billy Joel music. I thought they were very well-done performances. So we shared our interests as couples should do. I still wanted to try to find one band; just one band made of metal that should would like. Not just put up with, but actually like.

Fast forward 9-years later. I am in my kitchen doing dishes (because she cooked) and the unwritten rule is he/she who owns the kitchen at the time listens to whatever they want on the cd player. I pop in the very first Black Label Society album I ever bought (Order of the Black) because up to this point, I was just never into BLS. I am cleaning and she is sitting on the counter chatting and she stops and stares at the radio. I am not saying anything because I know she is going to ask who it is. There is a pause for about a minute while Zakk is doing what he does best. And then the conversations goes like this…

Wife – “I like this.”

Me – “What?”

Wife – I like this, who is it?”

Me – “What?”

Wife – “This is good.”

Me – “What?”

Wife – “Who is this?”

Me – “Black Label Society”

Wife – “Now this I can listen to”

Me – “What!?”

Wife – “This guy can play guitar too.”

Me – “Are you f**king kidding me” (playfully, I am NOT a prick)? “After nine years the one band I chose never to listen to is the one you are going to like?”

Wife – “Whatever, these guys are good.”

And so it began. I asked why and she said “well, he doesn’t scream or growl, I can understand him, and the music isn’t too fast.” I was like that’s it? That’s all it took? Why had I not asked this question before?

My mission began. I took off on a journey to find 10 metal songs she would like.  Some bands I thought would make the cut didn’t.  I was surprised she didn’t dig Stone Sour, Queensryche, Weezer, Megadeth, Judas Priest, Dream Theater, James LaBrie, and Apocalyptica to name a few.

Before I list all 10 songs I want to use the term metal loosely. Some of these songs could be argued as metal or not, but this is a start. It became my mission to get 10 metal songs my wife would like. Not just put up with, but like. If you are in the same boat you might be able to try these 10 songs to close the gap musically. And in case you are wondering this is a two-way street. Because of my wife I do listen to The Eagles, Sting, Billy Joel, Van Morrison, Cindi Lauper, The Police, and Michael Buble and a few other similar artists. I usually don’t listen to them without my wife, but I wouldn’t expect her to listen to these metal songs without me. But in the car together, these types of songs close the musical gap.

Also, my wife does like Van Halen, but who doesn’t like at least some Van Halen? I tried to stay away from those kinds of bands when looking for my magical 10 and stick to metal she most likely never heard of…except one I knew she liked. Her is the list…5 months in the making.

The Sword – Tres Brujas. She said this song was catchy and had that 70’s rock vibe. Funny, that’s what a lot of people say about The Sword.

Five Finger Death Punch – Bad Company. I cheated a little on this one. Since I knew she liked some of that 70’s vibe I thought she might like the updated version of a 70’s classic and it worked out.

Metallica – Enter Sandman. This is the one I already knew she liked. Probably one of Metallica’s more accessible radio tunes. It is what helped me get this project off and running.

Katatonia – My Twin. I was a little surprised at this one because it is a bit more dark than I thought she would like, but also for Katatonia, a bit more accessible than some of their other music. This is a great video though. In fact, just gave me a video for video of the week sometime.

Helloween – World of Fantasy. Helloween was hit or miss and I did try more than one song. I think this one just sounds a bit more pop than some of their more aggressive and faster songs. It met her criteria though and happy to have her listen to it.

Ozzy Osbourne – I Don’t Wanna Stop. This one was kind of a no-brainer because I knew she liked Crazy Train and Ozzy is really accessible, but I wanted to try to see if she liked the newer stuff and this one made the cut.

30 Seconds To Mars – This is War. Ok metal or not metal? It might be in the gray area, but it’s in the ballpark. And this one she found all by herself. So kudos to that.

Within Temptation – Faster. This is the newest song on the list. A well-done Within Temptation song that made the cut.

Joe Satriani – If I Could Fly. I am glad she likes this; Satriani is über talented. This is someones homemade video.

Black Label Society – Time Waits For No One. I could have picked just about any one BLS’s songs. This one is one she liked more than most. BLS is the one that started this experiment.

At the end of the day, this experiment was just fun for me to do. My wife isn’t running out buying metal albums. That was never the intention. She likes what she likes. I think ultimately neither one of us cares what music is played in the car or in the house, though I don’t play Slayer when I know that will just annoy her. We have common ground and understanding when it comes to music. I take her to West End shows and she occasionally accompanies me to a metal show (3 to date). She also respects my need to see concerts and attend the annual metal festival (or two). So it all works out.

This whole thing for me was funny because up to about 5 months ago, I didn’t really like BLS. I saw a video once about 7 years ago, didn’t like it, and never thought to try anything else from BLS. So I finally dig the music and this is the metal band she liked. So it was funny for me and then I thought why not find more? Now I have this 10 song list that your (and my) non-metal spouse might like. Besides, didn’t we all learn to share in Kindergarten? Thank you for reading. In case you are wondering, I am NOT going to experiment with death metal your non-death metal spouse might like. This is it.

Do you have a spouse or significant other that does not like metal like you like it? Let’s hear about it.

And lastly…again, Happy Birthday to my wife.  Thank you for putting up with my metal and my need to see as many metal shows as money and time will allow.

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About Reggie

Just a dude writing a heavy metal blog and always on the prowl for a cool metal show. I am also a family man...first and foremost!

Posted on March 8, 2012, in Theme Thursday and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. If you want some other metal your wife may like, here are a few off the top of my head:

    Kamelot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxPWYpcVI1c)
    Alcest (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85c-P9hbmBg)
    Newer Amorphis (last 4 albums) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkRxjrlgzp0)
    Opeth’s latest would go down well with the 70s vibe (I don’t know the album well, but most of the tracks seem cool)
    Shattered Skies (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ocvRTplZG4)

    Oh and happy birthday to her.

    • You know I thought about Kamelot and it didn’t work out. I was surprised by that. It must be a power metal thing I guess. I will try some of the other artists you mentioned here. I don’t know Alcest very well, but I liked what little I have heard. Thank you for the input. I hope to do another post in the future with 10 new songs.

  2. Happy Birthday to Mrs. Plantera!
    It’s awesome when the non metal spouse gets into our music. My wife likes to come to all the concerts with me and gets into the live shows but doesn’t really listen to metal much outside of shows with the exception of some Metallica and Helloween here and there. She really liked seeing Dream Theater a couple weeks back and I was really surprised at how much she enjoyed the Opeth concert back in Nov.
    @mark- Good call on the Amorphis! That’s a great band to get anyone into metal. Great melodies and hooks, awesome lyrics, and Tomi’s singing is a good way to ease anyone into the harsher vocal stylings.
    For a bookworm wife, I would recommend Blind Guardian. I’d say 75% of their songs are based on books. While they do take a lot of inspiration from Tolkein, Moorecock, and King they’ve been known to dive into some good lit (not saying the former is bad 😉 ). The Once and Future King, Paradise Lost, old medieval texts, the Bible, etc.

    • I have been trying some of the power metal stuff here and there, but I think she thinks it’s a bit over-the-top. She seems to like some of the new Opeth which is cool and similar sounding music. I floating some of the folk-metal things by her, but more of the instrumentals. The list is expanding and I think its great to find some things she doesn’t mind listening to. This Blind Guardian song is awesome!

  3. This is a brilliant post, thank you!!
    I met my partner in a biker pub, we share mutual metal and goth friends, but he has never really gotten on with the music, being more a trance/dance fan. We found some mutual ground, however, when Evanesence brought out ‘Bring Me To Life’. He liked the version with just the female vocal and I preferred the one with the male vocal. Then we discovered our mutual love for Prodigy, his for early ‘Voodoo People’ and mine for the later ‘Firestarter’.
    We often try to find a mutual ground in our musical tastes, and as long as it has a female vocal and a decent beat, we have common ground. Mostly though, we have to take turns with the CD player.

    • Hey thank you! I don’t think my wife will ever go metal, but it’s nice to find some common ground. I recently found that she likes Godsized, so I think bands that are similar to Black Label Society are going to be ok with her. In the future I want to find a few more and see if I can expand on a few things. I don’t think Slipknot will ever make the cut, but that is ok. There’s plenty of good metal out there that might be right up her alley.

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